Addressing Parenting Conflict Through Use of Local Law Enforcement

From time to time, we are retained in cases where a parent attempts to resolve a family conflict through the use of local law enforcement. When the going gets tough, the parent resorts to dialing 911 thereby introducing law enforcement into the family's private affairs.

Although trained in domestic conflict, a deputy sheriff or patrolman is ill-equipped to handle high-confilct parenting disputes. Often, the police involvement leads to unforeseen consequences such as: an state investigation of the entire family by DHHS and Child Protective Services.

Just as unexpected, is that the police come to the house, but are not persuaded that any crime has been committed, and leave without making an arrest. Thus, calling the police to address a routine parenting dispute does not sole the root problem. This drama all unfolds in front of the parents' minor children.

DISCLAIMER: although Clarkston Legal does not recommend contacting law enforcement to manage routine parenting disputes, nothing in this post is intended to dissuade the victim of actual abuse from contacting local law enforcement to report a domestic assault.

Examples of High-Conflict Parenting Disputes

Parenting Transitions at the Police Station. In some families, parenting transitions tend to lead to conflict between the parents with tensions boiling over at the transition point. Common practice in these cases is to designate a police station or sheriff sub-station as the transition point. The presence of law enforcement deters a parent's usual poor or aggressive conduct. The down-side of this tactic is that it enforces the view that local law enforcement is present for the purpose of managing a families routine parenting disputes; they are not.

Contacting Law Enforcement to Report the Other Parent's Discipline. In one of our recent cases, a parent contacted the local police following the return of the child from a weekend at the other parent's home. The child complained to the parent that the other parent had carried the child upstairs into her bedroom because she did not comply with the parent's request to write an essay.

Upon hearing this tale, the parent to whom the child returned promptly drove to the local police station to report the incident. Dutifully, the on-duty officer at the station took down the complaint. Although the officer did not submit the report to the county prosecutor, the officer did forward the report -as required by law- to Children's Protective Services.

This in turn led to a CPS investigation and resulted in the allegedly assaultive party's parenting time to be suspended through a hastily composed CPS "safety plan". When the matter was finally resolved six weeks later with the allegations of abuse and neglect being unsubstantiated, the parent that was the subject of the CPS investigation missed out on an entire summer of parenting with the daughter. The ensuing family court litigation resulted in father being awarded a significant amount of "make-up" parenting time. This result was not anticipated by either parent.

Filing a Police Report Commensurate with the Filing of a Custody or Divorce Complaint. Sometimes, a party decides, "enough is enough" and lodges a complaint of domestic assualt around the time they also file a complaint in the family court for custody or divorce. When we have clients that present with this situation, we probe the circumstances with a comprehensive consultation designed to unearth all of the pertinent details about the alleged assault or series of assaults.

Often, when a domestic partner is abused, they do not report the abuse to law enforcement until they reach the point of filing a pleading in the family court. When they reach this point, they also consider filing a police report or petition for a personal protection order commensurate with the family court filing. This is their way of taking back control of their life.

In such cases, we always proceed carefully and with deliberation following detailed consultation. Parties are sometimes disappointed when their complaint to the police does not result in criminal charges against their domestic partner, or when their petiton for a PPO is denied. These denials are perceived by the allegedly abused partner as a resounding invalidation of their circumstances. In addition, when this happens, the family court proceedings almost always get off on the wrong foot by becoming immediately high-conflict and litigious.

Results are Mixed Even When Law Enforcement Witnesses Abuse and Neglect. We had a recent case where the child's father arrived to pick-up his three year old daughter. When no one answered his knock on the front door of mother's apartment, he looked in the window to observe his daughter sitting on her mother's chest; mom was apparently passed out.

Father walked his daughter through unlocking and opening the front door. Upon entry into Mom's apartment, he observed evidence of alcohol consumption and also could plainly observe that Mom was inebriated. He immediately contacted the police and awaited their arrival.

After a brief on site investigation by the police, Mom was not charged with any crime. Although CPS was contacted, their investigation led to miminal corrective action. The entire incident left our client underwhelmed with the ability of law enforcement and CPS to manage what he perceived as dangerous parental conduct.

Recommended Courses of Action in Family Court

1. File a complaint with the Friend of the Court. The purpose of the letter of complaint is to detail the poor parental conduct to the FOC as it happens, not weeks or months later. Be sure to describe actual poor conduct, not just your opinion that the other parent is not being appropriate in his or her parenting style. The Friend of the Court logs such complaints and sends them to the other parent for their input; they will not take direct action.
2. Typically, neither the FOC nor the family court will actively intervene as a result of such FOC parenting complaint letters. The idea is to document your observations in real time. The letter can then be used at a later time to support a larger motion lodged in the court to support a modification of parenting time or custody. Remember that family courts are reactive NOT proactive.
3. Should You File a PPO? Either before or subsequent to filing a complaint for divorce or custody in the family court, consider filing a petition for a PPO if and only if you have solid facts to back it up. Family court judges can identify when a party is weaponizing allegations of alleged harm. If you do have a reasonable and legitimate fear of imminent harm then prepare a detailed petition. Be aware, however, that if your petiton is granted, the other parent will not be able to participate in parenting transitions for up to a year. A PPO is useful if the other parent's conduct is abusive and harmful. It is a poor idea if used simply to weaponize your belief that you are the superior parent.
4. Parenting Coordinator. Many high conflict parents use a parenting coordinator to mediate and resolve thier disputes. The appointment of a parenting coordinator is controlled by statute in the Michigan Family Courts. The parties must consent to the use of a parenting coordinator and the appointment must be made through the entry of a stipulated order in the case; the court order defines the scope of the PC's duties.
5. The parenting coordinator can make recommendations to the parties and to the family court, but does not co-opt the powers of a family court judge. The parenting coordinator receives mandatory training as established by the MIchigan Supreme Court. A family coordianator does not have to be a lawyer. But a lawyer should be consulted prior to agreeing to the utilization of a parenting coordinator.
6. Litigation as a Last Resort. If the above tools do not work or are not appropriate to your situation, consider consulting with a lawyer and filing a motion to address the other parent's conduct and how it should impact your current parenting schedule. Remember, however, that family courts are reactive, not proactive. This means that if your stated basis for a parenting change is that the other parent's conduct may lead to or could lead to some potential harm to the children, then your motion will likely be denied.
7. Also, litigation is a last resort because it is costly and time-consuming. Family court dockets are clogged with cases so expect delays to roll-out in terms of months, not weeks. While hiring a lawyer to navigate the litigation is advised, this usually costs thousands of dollars, minimum. This is why we believe that litigation should be considered as a last resort. However, if your children are exposed to actual imminent harm from the conduct of the other parent, go to court and tell it to the judge.

We Can Help!

If you or a loved one are faced with an abusive co-parent and would like to discuss your options, contact our law firm to schedule a free in-person legal consultation. We can outline attainable parenting objectives based on your facts and bring a realistic assessment to your matter.

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